Home

  Bodyshop

  Lots/Housing

  Java Programs

  Miscellany
    The Dragon Legend

  Machinima

  Links

 

The Dragon Legend

In The Sims 2: Bon Voyage, Sims visiting the Takemizu Village vacation destination can learn the Dragon Legend, a 100% Historically Accurate event from Ancient Takemize History. However, the story is only provided in Simlish, and as such, the details of this gripping tale are lost on the typical player.

Through years of painstaking research, bribes, threats, and complete and utter balderdash, I have discovered the true meaning of the Dragon Legend, and bring it to you, today.

The Dragon Legend: notovny Interperetation

Once there was an Insurance Agent who sold homeowner's insurance 
policies to the Barbarian Community. One day, she noticed that the 
barbarians were filing an unusual number of claims for fire damage, 
which was risking her company's solvency.

Concerned, she sent a message  by the Celestial Internet to the Claims 
Adjustment Dragon, Sees Expensive Truths. Sees Expensive Truths 
descended on the charred Barbarian Village in the night, and began an 
extensive Arson investigation. However, the Barbarians had been clever, 
and no evidence of foul play was discovered, so the company had to pay 
the claim, which pleased the Barbarians, and they rebuilt their village 
with the money.

However Barbarians were not good at money management, and they again 
fell upon hard times due to betting on horse races. Unwilling to face 
the wrath of organized crime, they attempted to light their village 
afire again, for great policy payout. This time, the Claims Adjustment 
Dragon was watching, and descended upon the barbarians like a divine 
wind with flame and policy violation lectures.

The Barbarians were shamed, and begged the Insurance Agent on their 
knees not to cancel their policy. "I must," she told them. "Insurance 
Fraud is a violation of federal law, and we are going to ensure that
 charges are pressed, unless restitution is made immediately."

The Barbarian leader threatened the Insurance Agent with a lawsuit 
based on his Celestial Internet Research, but the Agent Smiled and 
said, "Your knowledge of the law is faulty, and we will not yield to 
your poorly worded demands."

The Company sued for restitution from the Barbarians, and was awarded
the Barbarian Village, which they turned into a lovely tourist resort. 
The  Agent kept her job, and spent the rest of her Vacation Days in the 
former Barbarian Village.